Highway to Hell

I am into my journey with no possible direction. Nothing seems to interest me, even living sounds dull and dying seems inviting.

Coming to America, I thought it would liberate me. What was I thinking? I have become a living prisoner. Prisoners are luckier than I am. They can have the free speech. That's the least that can be afforded to me. No back talks. They can insult me, criticize me, make fun of me and whatever it is they fancy, yet, they don't expect me to retaliate. BUT that is just isn't me.

I am a straightforward person, plain and simple. How can a person who taught me to tell the truth and say what is right is so angry for voicing out myself? That person can and will humiliate me when they want to, the way they want to but CANNOT, I say CANNOT accept me to tell the truth about them. It speaks volumes. I am a reflection of that person.

That person treats me like I am a stupid woman who is raising a son. That I do not know anything. That I cannot do anything. I know better, but my self-esteem right now is going downhill. Way too fast. I will not wonder if one day I might just believe that there is truth in what that person says about me.

Somehow being a nobody, with nothing on my name, well, maybe except my son, keeps ringing in my ears. Just like some song that you kept on hearing over and over again the whole day.